A simple recipe for suffering is to believe that the basic sexuality to which you are genetically predisposed is intrinsically wrong and dirty. Those who hold this belief are bound to suffer because what they loathe and feel guilty for is a deep part of who they are. Just as hunger for food and drink are essential parts of being a human being, so is sexuality, as it is for nearly every, if not every, other living species on the face of the Earth.
Sexuality is a beautiful aspect of human nature, which has, like all other aspects of human nature, been used both to meaningfully bring people together and to cause great traumatic harm. If we are to be at peace with our humanity, we must also be at peace with our sexuality. We must not repress it, but face it squarely and accord it the same respect that we accord our other basic needs for food and shelter.
Just as appetites for food can become excessive and lead to obesity, however, so can sexual appetites become extreme and destructive. Therefore, just as proper management of gastronomical hungers is wise, so is the balanced management of sexual appetites.
We cannot love ourselves until we accept ourselves, and we cannot accept ourselves until we accept the fundamental aspects of our being; sexuality is one such aspect, regardless of how various philosophies, psychologies, and religions have attempted to crush it and suppress it. While those forms of sexuality that involve coercion and abuse must be regarded as morally wrong, there is nothing against which to raise a moral objection in sexual intercourse between two consenting adults.
Without sexuality, there would be no life, and if we value life, then we should accord sexuality a certain degree of respect as well. When our sexuality is a source of peaceful enjoyment rather than a source of guilt and self-hatred, we will have come into a healthy relationship with it. Such a relationship is part and parcel of a fulfilling human life.